I would call it 'a quite unexplained feeling' or even 'a notion' or 'comprehension' as I come across the idea that my character is rapidly changing. As if I don't have any kind of emotional barriers (of course I still have), as if I am not frightened of looking rude or impolite (which is pretty true), as if all this features were stimulated by the huge and devastating exhaustion which is hilarious - I am only 18 and to be that grumpy at my age is not relevant and rational.