Why is it so unfair that being kind to acquaintances is easier than to your own family?

Tomas saw me eating yesterdays salads and started joking about it in non-aggressive manner (merely because he is a clown, that's it).
I got so disturbed by it that I asked.him to piss of in presence of Angelica, Ruta and Daina. This moment of a common shock when everyone freezes with that deep astonishment on their faces. Fuck. Why have this happened?
I won't wonder if Angelica treats my in her traditional passive-aggressive manner after this and then as always she will just burst apart screaming that I gradually become shittier and shittier.

There are so many saying and deeds we won't ever forgive each other! So many crap we have done to each other in 6 years. And those footprints are inerasable. They are still as dark and hideous as they were..and we see them crawling and following us on the path of life as if they were our shades.